Doing Life, Getting it together, Jesus

Why I am not making a New Year’s Resolution or One Word

It’s that time of year again. Christmas trees may or may not still be up.  You’re bouncing somewhere between the excitement of a new year and what could be and lazing around after the time off and festivities have left you desiring rest. Maybe you’re cleaning the junk food out of the house either by way of garbage can or your mouth. hahah

I was in a complete funk until last night. I am talking complete funk. I wanted to sleep & sleep some more.  Wanted my tree down but no energy to get it done.  May as well turn the lights on if I have to look at it a while longer.  That’s not happening either since my back is on restrictions my son was the one who’d get down on the floor and plug and unplug the tree, that was until he broke his 3rd bone on Christmas Day. Yes I said 3rd break.

I had done decided months ago I am not falling into that new year new you trap.

Here’s why…

For me resolutions have never worked. not because my plan wasn’t good, but because my motivation was founded in the excitement of the possibilities of what could be.  So this year I am not doing the whole list, I am not even doing a ONE WORD focus. Honestly, I didn’t ever focus on that word for to long after the first anyways. Also in the middle of all this I am going through some personal relational issues with an acquaintance/friend.  I have been so focused on their inadequacies when grace & mercy need to be at the center of my thoughts.  This year has been a year for the books on betrayal, hurt and lies.  I think that’s the biggest reason this recent situation has me so flustered.  My dad is having pre-cancerous issues.  The cells are abnormal but “Not Cancer” umm EXCUSE ME but I thought abnormal cells is the definition of cancer.  In my mind I want to worry, I want to drag him to another doctor for a second opinion.  While that is still on the table I am praying up a storm that God will HEAL.   As if all that weren’t enough our business is going through some challenges that are somewhat out of our control.  These things are making it hard on us with day to day operations.

What got me out of that funk? I watched a sermon that completely moved me in such a way. I awoke today feeling alive.

Instead of a resolution I have to make a choice every single day.

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The decision to put my trust and hope in Jesus Christ.  He has entrusted me with a family, a home, a church family, a business and a temple. Knowing what to do is not rocket science, I just have to awake each day truly thankful for the gift of a new day and do all I know to do and it will all fall into place. 

I praise God for always putting right in my path just what I need to shift my focus.  Praise HIM for being more kind to me than I even deserve.

The truth is we can’t live our lives on the excitement of what could be, instead we must choose to live in the joy of what was done and what is to come.

If you’re struggling too right now,  I encourage you to shift your focus and grab hold of the revelation of Jesus Christ. He created you and me, if He took the time to do that then He’s got this.

  1. He created us.
  2. He sustains us
  3. He redeemed us with HIS blood, outstretched arms, and the weight of every single INADEQUATE decision and action I have ever done.

HE IS COMING BACK

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that life won’t throw some tough blows at us, loss, pain, sickness… you name it.  Someone somewhere has went through it.  Find a friend and encourage each other.  Those things will happen and that’s why living in the truth of real JOY is so important because it’s during those tough times we’ll need it most.

My son, my goodness. He is 12, he broke his femur at 8, his elbow at 11, and now this.  Dude didn’t cry, he hasn’t gotten down, he just simply said that “God must have a pretty big plan for all these breaks! I can’t wait to see how it all comes together at the end.”  He blows my mind with his faith and strength.  You know how he knows he is going to be ok… because he is looking back at the last breaks and seeing how God got him through it and our Lord will never forsake us.  That is just one of the truths my son has found true and as Beth Moore says,

If you have found one thing in the Bible to be true, rest easy, you can take them all to the bank.”

 

Getting it together, Monday Check In

Getting it together: Confessions of a messy woman.

Confession time

Every single week I say I am going to absolutely try to flip my life upside down.  Change my every day crappy habits around and make some good of my life.

Don’t get me wrong I am not a bad person with deep dark secrets in my closet. No, you won’t find horrible things there, what you will find is…

A super messy house, clothes that seem to multiply like gremlins, toothpaste spattered only on my side of the sink.   I can’t load the dishwasher for this clean up time because I forgot to turn the thing on last time! UGH!   And don’t ask me where my keys are.   I have 5 pairs of shoes piled up at the front door always.  And I can’t remember the last time I made my bed.  Did I mention that bunnies live here?  Not not the cute little ones but those dusty ones that seem to find their way out even if I have just swept!  That is just  my home for starters and only a few examples of my messy habits.

However I am all caught up on my shows, and I know everything happening in Facebook land.   And I have spent plenty of time soaking in a hot bath imagining this organized life I want to live.  Only to get out and plop down on the couch with the computer and t.v. This.is.sickening.

My health… hmmmm let’s see here…. I have every workout video series known to man, Walk Away the Pounds, The Firm,  Body Bump, Zumba … Biggest Loser etc… the list goes on and on.  And are you ready for the whipped cream and cherry on the top?

I pay for a gym membership AND own a total gym machine.

And here is the kicker I am so out of shape and overweight it is ridiculous! We eat out way to much and I am way to addicted to sugar.

In high school I ran track and I was always dancing.  I had killer legs, not now! HA. Now I have killer thighs.

So each week I say I am going to start being a responsible adult, I am going to get my crap together.   Like I am just going to resist the urge to do what I always do which is a whole lot of nothing.

So here’s to what I hope will be some accountability for me to strive to do and be a better person.  I realize I won’t be able to change all of this over night (even though I have had delusional moments where I am pretty sure I am tough enough to do so) the reality is this is going to take time. Overcoming one thing at a time.

I am going to make a list of all the things I need  and want to change.  Make my top 3 that are most important non-negotiable and once I master that then I will add to it.

When I am brave enough maybe I can share some before and after photos.

I will accomplish this. I have to. My sanity and health depend on it. I want to be a good example to my son, I am sure I have already ruined my adult daughter.   I tell my son pick up your room, it’s a mess. I am sure he thinks I am crazy. I tell him do as I say not as I do.     #gottasaveoneofthem